REAL HOUSEWIVES BOOK CLUB: The Pretty Mess

When I ordered Erika Jayne's book I was still enamored by her mysterious persona. Then I watched the RHOBH reunion and become completely fed up with her stuck-up entitled attitude.

I finally sat down to start reading her book last week, and am slowly but surely going to finish it. Ever since entering the BH franchise she has put up a wall, refusing to express any type of emotion that could make her seem sensitive and reading her book is explaining why she reacts the way she does to certain situations. Just from the first two chapters, I feel like she blames all of her flaws on her mother, taking no responsibility for her anger outbursts that we have experienced on RHOBH.

It is no doubt that Erika is "an enigma wrapped in riddle and cash," and I am excited to dive into this book with you to analyze the XXpensive life of Erika Jayne.

The first chapter is mainly used to set up her childhood, it gives a brief overview of various moments in her career as a performer ranging from age three to now. "I always wanted to be a show girl."

She started going on auditions in Atlanta when she was just three. She attended a performing arts high school where she studied Musical Theatre as well as doing various low budget commercials around town to earn money to pay for her costumes, dance classes, and singing lessons.

At age twelve she filmed her first video as Erika Jayne which was inspired by a program her mother had brought home from a Vegas trip.

Madonna was an important influence in the whole creation of Erika Jayne. Everything Erika did on a stage as a child, including her costumes, was inspired by Madonna.

Growing up in a city like Atlanta, even struggling with a single mother, she was given multiple opportunities that most young musical theatre kids don't get to experience. For example, her dance team was chosen to go to Toyko to represent Atlanta in a presentation to host the Summer Olympic Games.

By her senior year, she was ready to move on to bigger better things so she decided not to participate in the school musical. Instead, she would dedicate that time to something more useful, like preparing for her move to New York City.

The director at her school was so furious that she wasn't participating in the final show that he withheld her diploma unless she would play the character Fastrada in the musical Pippin. She ultimately chose to perform in the production only to ensure that she would be able to accept her diploma at graduation that spring.

In Chapter two, the tone shifts when she begins to explain the dynamics of her relationship with her mother in great detail.

Growing up so fast is why I think Erika is so independent, from a young age she was told that if she wanted something she would have to do it herself. Which has now escalated into her refusing help even when she might actually need it.

The guilt her mother instilled in her for being born affected her work ethic as a young child. She said that she "wasn't aspiring to good things as much as I was trying to avoid the negative consequences of not doing something."

Her mother Renee, as most fans know, had Erika at the age of 18 and in the book she reveals that Renee has always resented her for being born. She even mentions that her mom once told her "I wish I never had you."

Obviously, no mother would ever mean something like that but those words resonated with Erika and have grown to affect her in her adult life.

A mother-daughter relationship is extremely important in shaping women. Since her father was out of the picture just nine months after she was born, her relationship with her mother had even more impact on her.

As a child, she never felt like she had the approval of her mother. Her mom would criticize her performances publicly by laughing obnoxiously loud if Erika's voice cracked while singing on stage. Followed by telling her that her performance was "rough" after the show was over. This constant state of seeking approval from her mother is why I think Erika was so embarrassed about the Panty Gate incident in season 7 of RHOBH. Since Erika grew up being criticized for everything she did, Panty Gate drawing so much unwanted attention towards her she couldn't handle the disapproval of others in such great quantity. It was bringing her back to how she felt as a child when her mother would tell her things such as,"While you were singing I was sliding down in my seat."

Erika doesn't cut her mother any slack for how she was raised. Constantly criticizing every mistake her mom made throughout her entire childhood. She used pages 21 through 31 to bash her mother, rehashing different events throughout her life that heavily impacted Erika and her vision of her mom.

Another interesting thing I took note of is how she claims on page 25 that she "was expected to act and present (herself) like a mini-adult rather than a young child." She was in complete control her young professional life because her mother didn't have time to help. She would make appointments with her talent agent and show up to pick up her checks. Only getting help from both her grandmother and mom when she had to find a ride to an audition.

I imagine the fact that she matured at such a young age is why she is married to a man that is so much older than her now. I also think that the financial security was a huge contender to why Erika chose to settle down and marry Tom Girardi. I am not saying that she married him for his money, I do think that she loves him but growing up in a financially unstable home and suffering from the guilt of being the reason of the money struggles I am guessing that when she was looking for someone to marry the fact that they had money and were financially stable was an important quality.

At the end of the second chapter, she pulls it together to end on a high note. Saying that her relationship with her mother changed drastically after she moved out of the house at age 25 to pursue a career in Los Angeles. Going on to explain how Renee is a lot more enjoyable when she isn't worried about how she is going to find the money to raise a child.

She claims that "Now I can finally have a good time with my mother...We actually have a fair amount in common. We are both artistic and creative, very ambitious, and we both know how to work hard."

I am going to continue to analyze "The Pretty Mess" as I read. I am actually enjoying getting to know a little bit more background into Erika Jayne's life.

xoxo,

Annie

#rhobh